McPherson’s Rant is an old Scots Folk Song about a Robin Hood Type Character who was hanged.
There is no connection, unless you count the “rant” part. The world’s a strange place and sometimes a “rant” at absurdity and unfairness is just what’s required.
Here you can expect to find examples of stupidity, irony and idiocy , especially relating to Hong Kong, and with particular attention to the SCMP, and its’ letters page. A common problem with many blogs is their failure to find something new to say, I find the SCMP, and it’s letters page, provides plenty of ammunition on a daily basis and will reference them frequently. If you have your own letter not getting published, put it on our comments section.
A strange nugget in the SCMP today…
“A 91 year-old man is critically ill in hospital after setting fire to himself in an apparent suicide attempt. Police are treating it as Arson.”
I thought arson implied wilful damage to property, generally with criminal intent. Maybe it’s just me, but I would have suggested treating it as a suicide attempt, or even a cry for help! But then, it’s Hong Kong!
You may remember yesterday I said there was something not quite right about the Cathay Hero Pilots! Now it seems that Cathay says there was no shutdown of engines, while Civil Aviation Director General Normal Low says data retrieved from the aircraft shows there was a period when both engines malfunctioned. Of course he then goes on to say this is not necessarily a contradiction, and: “I am pretty sure we are talking about the same thing.” Really? There are a few other issues to bring up here. Some in the industry believe the flight crew should have immediately returned to Surabaya as soon as the engine problem manifested itself, it would seem that would be the safest option for a twin engined jet. That would be my preference, but I’ll concede there are pilots out there who will maintain there was no issue with continuing on one engine… and I’ll admit to being a paranoid flyer… and this is where I have to revisit my argument from yesterday. As soon as a flight starts its descent my paranoia ascends… I’m in a constant state of heightened awareness wrought by anxiety. I feel the airspeed, I listen for the flaps, I check the angle of descent, I listen for the pilot applying more power and assume he’s screwed up when he does, I balefully wait for the landing gear to go down and then hope it has locked and when eventually I hear them cut all power and watch as we descend the last 50 feet… I’m ready to throw women and children behind me and trample over the elderly in a rush to exit… should anything untoward happen on landing… which statistically is when ’something’ is most likely to happen. How? How? How… did these people not know that they had just had the pleasure of an emergency landing? So ignorant were they that some were trying to leave with their hand baggage. Something is not right here and Chief Exec Mr Tony Tyler may see this ‘positive story’ descend into a PR nightmare, unless of course he gets his spin doctors working overtime.
Anyone that lands a plane is a hero to me, if its got one engine, he’s up there with Nelson Mandela, if its got none he’s a GOD. But the Cathay landing, which yesterday was lauded as miraculous, has me wondering! If you have one engine, and that engine is surging…making airspeed control a problem as you descend… surely, as a passenger, you would be well aware that there was some major shit going down… and you might be following it…down! Yet in SCMP, passengers are quoted as saying they didn’t know anything was wrong until told to evacuate the airplane. Cathay has had some negative coverage in the press recently, there’s ongoing protests from cabin crew, local pilots accusing them of racism and a surge of anger about a recent Total Caring Award. Would it be too cynical of me to think that this story has been hijacked? I have no doubt there was a problem on this flight. But I think the story has been blown up and presented to us by some slick PR machine. Not a single source name was used in the piece, it’s all: “A Cathay Pacific spokesman,” or “a colleague.” In fact, one colleague really stuck it to all other airlines and even other Cathay pilots: ”If this had happened on another airline or if this had happened to less skilled and resourceful pilots, there is no way those passengers would all have walked away from that plane alive.” Something about this story just doesn’t fly, in my book. Keep your eyes open for updates.
Firstly I have to admit to my prejudice, or should that be prejudii, as I do appear to have a number of them. If a failure to believe in bullshit can be defined as prejudice… I’m guilty! A common prejudice you used to hear amongst the lesser bigots and idiots in Northern Ireland and the West Coast of Scotland was that you could identify a catholic easily… their eyes were closer together than ‘normal people’. Sheer prejudice and shocking bigotry! And then I find myself looking at Ratzingberger’s eyes! I’d not be surprised if someone told me he was once in the Hitler Youth. What! He was! Waahh!
I’m motivated to mention him today because of two letters in the SCMP on Sunday, interestingly both were from non residents of Hong Kong, and both were full of shite! One was from a familiar correspondent on religious matters Mr Paul Kokowski from Canada. On this occasion he is sucking the popes, seeking to stick up commending the pope for not being intimidated by false critics blah blah blah… I can smell the bullshit all the way from Ontario Mr Kok. One pertinent fact hitherto ignored is this: in any civilized jurisdiction failure to report a crime is a crime in itself so every single bishop or prelate or Pope who did not report perverted pedophile priests committed a crime…and should be punished…period. Kokoski excels himself with his final paragraph: ” Justice and Truth demand an objective analysis of the facts.” This from a man who believes in transubstantiation, Papal infallibility and the concept of a virgin birth! Tosser! The other letter was from a Mr Andrew Norman, who it seems wrote a book about T.E. Lawrence, or Lawrence of Arabia as most of us know him. Lawrence was raped during the war by some Arab who’d not got his goat. Mr Norman’s theory goes like this, the rape led to Lawrence’s later problems in life, ergo, anal rape is a heinous crime, therefore it ruins the life of everyone who experiences it, therefore the life of everyone who was raped or molested by a priest was irrevocably damaged. This really is an illogical argument. Lawrence was a Philosopher, his Seven Pillars of Wisdom is worth a read, if only to illustrate what a troubled soul he could be, but we all know Philosophers are an unhappy breed to start with so to blame his whole character on his rape is disingenuous. More importantly to say that every child who was sexually abused by a priest was scarred for life is a simplistic lie, and does the more serious cases, not only of sexual assault, but of physically violent assault a terrible injustice. Children are remarkably resilient, and given the opportunity can bounce back from almost anything. But tell an adult that his failures in life are due to the fumbling of a dirty old man and that adult can suddenly justify his own failings. There is simply no valid comparison to be made between T. E. Lawrence and the current scandals engulfing the Vatican.
This year I was one of the stadium announcers for the games at the Sevens, I didn’t touch a drop of alcohol all weekend, therefore watched every single game of rugby… sober… and you know what? I enjoyed it. So I’ve came to the bitter conclusion that I am, now, officially old. The South Stand no longer calls out to me, in fact it almost repels me, I say almost, as I couldn’t help cast an envious glance occasionally, but the envy was the confident youth on display, not the discomfort. I see in the South Stand now, ghosts of sevens past, and forlornly yearn for when I too was a player, in the party stand, but nostalgia is one thing, a comfortable seat with a birds eye view, a screen for instant replays and a microphone are their own rewards.
So off to Manilla tomorrow for the Manilla Nomads Tens, Back Monday, off day Tuesday, then Wednesday is Kowloon Rugbyfest at Kings Park, and Thursday is possibly the highest quality rugby Tens competition in the world at Hong Kong Football Club… and then the climax, the 2010 Hong Kong Sevens. This year as one of the stadium announcers I have managed to enlist the other boys in our own wee tribute to Bill McClaren, so if you hear someone saying: “He kicked that like a pound of Haggis,” or, “They’ll be singing down in Wanchai tonight,” that is our tribute.
I love the contradiction of the Sevens, people travel from all over the world to have a weekend blackout. And when they come too, they know they had a party, they just can’t remember any of it. There was a time when only stamina could see you through, drinking all night in Wanchai then heading to the Stadium at 7am to avoid the South Stand queue, not for the faint hearted.
And then around 1997 God invented Vodka Red Bull and suddenly 72 hour sessions were within reach of mere mortals.
Remember The Canny Man motto: “Everything in moderation, especially moderation!”
Let the party commence.
“I remember a big South Sea Islander saying that, in his view, the Hong Kong sevens were really the Olympic games of Rugby Union… The Hong Kong event captures all the really good things the game has to offer – splendid organization, wonderful sporting spirit, universal camaraderie, admirable field behaviour…” Bill McClaren RIP
This may seem pedantic, and I accept that a significant proportion of readers will see nothing wrong with the advert below, but I wish this town would decide whether we are using American English, or proper English. Ok I put ‘proper’ in there just to wind some of you up, but the point remains valid. If a newspaper has a singular style that all journalists conform to, surely they could impose the same standards on their advertisers. I accept the old adage that the UK and US are two countries divided by a common language, but it seems cultural imperialism has now infected the SCMP much to our collective mutual detriment.
If there was a soundtrack to this town, it would be Talking Heads: “We’re On A Road To Nowhere”
It’s a tune that just about covers every aspect of Hong Kong’s government by consensus approach, or shall we say government by committees of vested interests. This incompetent approach to government is evident all around us, but is perfectly illustrated by the “rail link to nowhere.”
It’s budgeted to cost 70 billion for 26 kilometers though of course all major infrastructure projects in this town go over budget…way over budget…
and it ends 45 minutes away from where you would actually like to be…
you’d think for all that money they could buy a fucking compass!
Or so it says in an advert in today’s SCMP. Quite where the figure three comes from it doesn’t say, but you can’t help feel it’s probably higher.
The advert is from Clean Air Network (CAN) and is asking us to get up off our arses, discard our complacency, shrug off our apathy… and sign a petition! Oh that will get ‘che che che’ Tsang’s attention, he’ll mouth a few more pitiful, pathetic platitudes which will be the usual lies and sophistry, and like the sniveling quisling he is, he’ll bend right over, yet again, for his vested interests, after all, he has his future bank balance to think of, or perhaps his seat on some inconsequential Politburo think tank.
We’re talking about a man so out of his depth he’d drown in a gob of phlegm; or in one of the puddles created by ‘operation team clean’ (lets hose down the pavements, that’ll get rid of SARS)
At least in this town petitioners don’t get locked up, or beaten up, but ‘che che che’ Tsang can, and will piss down our collective legs, blame it on the Northern Monsoon, or El Nido/Nino or the Mt. St Helen’s eruption and all the while he’ll smile that so very smug and aggravating smile, knowing that we, all of us, are inconsequential in his grand scheme of aggrandisement.
If it makes the ‘CAN’ folks think better about themselves, then go ahead, but engaging these turds carries the risk that you legitimise their untenable positions and they’ll use any means possible to claim they’re “listening to the people.”
There is another option and it’s coming yet!
Filipina Nurses
An editorial in yesterdays SCMP suggested the government could solve the severe shortage of nurses in Hong Kong by employing Filipina nurses. Great idea. The editorial then states that the Hospital Authority cites the major stumbling block is language; most patients are Cantonese, forgetting of course that the majority of Filipinas in Hong Kong pick up Cantonese quite easily. The editorial failed to mention the most salient reason… racism. It’s no secret. There are some in Hong Kong, albeit a significant minority, who believe Filipinas are no better than servants, and the use of ‘dogs eyes’ towards them, a term once exclusively reserved for the ‘gweilo’ who looked down on the local, is common. When I first came here, I was shocked by a young kid abusing his domestic helper in a McDonalds: “You’ll do as your told he shouted and I’ll have what I want.” I was apoplectic at the obnoxious wee shite, I very nearly ‘cuffed him on the lug’ as they would say in Scotland, sadly, I learned it was normal for 10 year old brats to abuse their helpers in this way, the spoiled little emperors learn it from their parents. Another time I had the misfortune to engage one of Hong Kong’s very few talkative taxi drivers who spent the journey regaling me with his exploits with prostitutes in Shenzhen. I jokingly asked: “Why don’t you go to Wanchai where there are Filipina prostitutes.” He turned around while driving, looked at me as if I were mad and held his fingers to his nose. And then there was Chip Tsao, a one-time columnist with HK magazine, amongst others, who, in an article he claimed was satire, called the Philippines a ” nation of servants.” He did apologise and again emphasised his satirical intent, only problem is Chip, satire is supposed to funny!
Of course there are many local people who treat their helper as one of the family, but as long as there is this racist undertone towards domestic help in general and Filipina ones in particular, don’t expect to see any Filipina nurses in Hong Kong anytime soon.